Departure

It is the day of departure.

Inside me is a strange calm that I've felt all day, induced by the monotone gray, and the feeling of standing on a precipice. Elation and apprehension pull me in such opposite directions that I find myself suspended in a midair emptiness. Now I just want to leave, jump, decide, freefall, move onto the next phase with my body as well as my thoughts.

I feel this is the beginning of something that will guide the rest of my life, and the feeling extends to those around me, as we all take a step together in different ways. This whole year has been one of irrevocable change, and my journey is just the same wind, finally reaching me. So here is a clinking glass to beginnings and movement.

But in this particular moment I am focused on the sound of a doorway closing, an era ending, a precious era that has defined in many ways who I am today and why I am leaving. Right know that door feels to be never closing, and I keep peaking back- saying one last goodbye, grabbing one last curio- and I only hope it does not close on my fingers. So, the clink of glasses sounds again, this time, with glittering, doleful eyes, to endings.

Have there been things unsaid? Of course, and things undone as well. But that is a place one cannot dwell. My feet are poised at the brink, and I must release the qualms, and trust that this is the right path and that though I fall free, I am carried by Grace.

So, here I go.